When a Loved One Resists Moving to Assisted Living
For six months, one family struggled with a decision so many adult children eventually face: Mom could no longer safely live alone, but she was adamant that she was not moving into assisted living.
Her children knew she needed more support. They wanted her somewhere safe, where she would be cared for, have help when she needed it, and, just as importantly, have opportunities to socialize instead of spending so much time alone.
The woman who had spent her entire life taking care of everyone else had become fiercely independent. She insisted she was doing just fine, even as her children noticed the changes. She was forgetting meals, becoming more isolated, struggling with everyday tasks, and spending more and more time alone. Every phone call that went unanswered sparked panic. Every unexpected trip to the house left them wondering if this would be the day something had happened.
But Mom wanted absolutely no part of it. She said, “I’m never moving there.”
After months of conversations, worry, hesitation, and second-guessing themselves, her family finally made the difficult decision to move her to St. Francis Villa in River Ridge.
What the First Few Weeks Were Really Like
She was angry, and she made sure everyone knew it. For the first few weeks, she was demanding, withdrawn, and wanted very little to do with her new surroundings. She stayed in her apartment, resisted attempts to get involved, and made it very clear to her family that she blamed them for putting her there.
And her children felt incredibly guilty.
They questioned themselves. They worried they had made a terrible mistake. Even though they knew they had made the decision out of love and concern for her safety, seeing their mother so unhappy filled them with guilt. They began to wonder if they had made the right choice.
But we asked them to give her time.
Our staff continued to give her time, patience, kindness, and plenty of opportunities to become comfortable on her own terms.
Finding Community & Care in Jefferson Parish
And then, little by little, something changed.
She started coming out of her apartment.
She began talking with other residents.
She joined activities.
She laughed more.
And somewhere along the way, the woman who was determined to hate assisted living found something she hadn’t expected, friendships, a community.
Today, she has her own group of friends whom she happily spends time with every day. She participates in daily activities, jokes with our staff, socializes with her neighbors, and has become a sweet, funny, and familiar face around St. Francis Villa. Many of those neighbors and their families come from all across Jefferson Parish, River Ridge, Harahan, Metairie, and Kenner alike.
The same woman who once wanted nothing to do with being here is now genuinely enjoying her life here.
Peace of Mind for the Whole Family
Her children can hardly believe the transformation. After six months of worrying about moving her and those very difficult first few weeks, they now have something they desperately wanted from the beginning: peace of mind.
They know their mother is safe. They know she has people around her who care about her. They know she isn’t sitting home alone. And, best of all, they know she is happy.
Sometimes the hardest part of assisted living isn’t making the move.
Sometimes the decision that feels the hardest is the one that ultimately gives someone we love a whole new chapter of life.
And sometimes, “I’ll never be happy there” slowly becomes… “This is home.”
Choosing Assisted Living: A St. Francis Villa River Ridge Family’s Story
Deciding on assisted living is rarely easy, especially when the person who needs care doesn’t think she does. For one local family here in Jefferson Parish who chose St. Francis Villa in River Ridge, the road from resistance to genuine happiness took a few months, a lot of patience, and a mother who eventually stopped fighting the very thing that ended up giving her a new lease on life.
Is it normal to feel guilty about moving a parent into assisted living?
Yes. Most families experience guilt even when the decision is clearly the right one for their loved one’s safety and quality of life. That guilt usually fades as families see their loved one adjust and settle in.
How long does it typically take someone to adjust to assisted living?
Every resident is different, but a few weeks to a few months of resistance is common. Patience and consistency from both family and staff make a real difference in how smoothly that adjustment goes.
What should families expect during the first few weeks?
It’s common for new residents to withdraw, resist activities, or express frustration with the change. Given time, encouragement, and a welcoming community, most residents come around and often form close friendships with staff and neighbors.
What makes St. Francis Villa different from other assisted living facilities in Metairie, Harahan, and Kenner?
Our staff prioritizes patience and relationship-building over rushing residents into participation. Whether a family is coming from Kenner, New Orleans, Metairie, or right here in River Ridge, we give each resident the time and space they need to feel at home on their own terms.
If your family is weighing the decision to move a loved one into assisted living, St. Francis Villa is located in River Ridge and serves families throughout Jefferson Parish, including Metairie, Harahan, Jefferson, Kenner, and New Orleans. Contact Ashleigh today to schedule a tour and see our community for yourself.
