So when do you typically discover that your parent is not cutting it? After how many falls? A dislocated shoulder or broken hip? Confusion because of dehydration or skipping or doubling up on medicine? How many trips to the doctor or hospital? What about just not seeing it or not wanting to believe it? Denial, avoidance and guilt can interfere with reality. Facing the fact that your parent(s) are aging and perhaps their safety is at issue and even more evident, that their quality of life is suffering or not what it should be or can be is difficult. This is a critical component of making the right decision for relativies!
That is why experience is important, not only in helping with that decision to determine the right fit, but also in the experience required to provide appropriate care once that move is made.
"... but I knew she was no longer safe in our home without much more care than we could provide for her. I knew in my head that the time had come for a move, but I knew in my heart that my home was the only place she should really be. With many prayers, a very heavy heart, a lot of tears, and plenty of guilt, I began to look around. My journey took me places I'd never heard of, to places that made me walk out shaking my head, big places, little places, close and faraway places. And then I found you. When I walked into St. Francis, I was struck, not only by the beauty of the rooms, but also the way it seemed to be a large family home, one I felt Mother could perhaps learn to navigate and feel as if she belonged. What struck me even more was the warmth of the owners and their staff, and their own feeling of happiness in their jobs of helping people who needed them ...with tears, sleepless nights, a lot of second guessing all mixed with a heavy dose of guilt and many, many prayers that it was the right thing to do ... to move Mama to St. Francis Villa... Why do I tell each of you our story? I want you each to know that you have played a very important part, not only in my mother's life, but also mine ...Your love and dedication, your patience, (with all of the residents and their families), your smiles, your true caring, your willingness to help, ... to give of yourselves so that those people who need you so badly can experience happiness and comfort and security in the winter of their lives, is a gift you give each day you are at St. Francis ... May God bless you with the peace that you so generously give to others.
