“Baby, I didn’t get to 94 years old by bein’ stupid!”

Mr. John was confident that he was smart.  Who wouldn’t be in awe of a WW2 veteran, a member of Patton’s regiment, successful businessman and father?  But the twinkle in his eye told me it didn’t hurt for him to hear that someone else respected his intelligence.

As they age, many become hyper focused on aches, pains, health issues, or digestive processes.  People will often compare health problems in conversation with each other in a common bond of suffering.  Conversations get reduced to topics like whether he took his medicine or when his next doctor appointment is scheduled.  With this kind of eclipsing focus on health problems, often other topics of conversation fall by the wayside.

When the process of aging is all a person talks about it can be hard to think of him as more than his age or health problem.  Combat this by purposefully bringing up other topics of conversation.  Here are three ideas for bringing a sparkle to the eye and a smile to the face of an elderly person New Orleans:

1)  Give a sincere compliment on an elderly person’s style, smile, or wit and watch him light up.  I make it a point to notice something about my residents besides their ages and care needs.  “That lipstick looks fantastic on you!”  Or “Those are words of wisdom.” Notice a new hairdo, a flattering tie, or a profound contribution to a conversation.  Never underestimate the value of the words: “You were right!”

2)  Ask a genuine question and listen for the wisdom that comes from a mouth surrounded by laugh lines.  “How many years did you work for the phone company?”  “What was high school like for you?”  “What do you think about all these delivery services getting popular for bringing groceries or food to people’s homes?”  Even when there are aches and pains plaguing her, your loved one may relish talking about some area of her expertise.  To be heard is to be loved.

3)  Thank an elderly person Metairie for the difference she made for you.  When a resident makes my day with a smile, hug or compliment, I always tell him or her, “You just made my day.”  If I get a piece of advice or a funny story, I try to let the person know that they really helped me.  Older people can still make a difference and its important to tell them so.

When we take the time to look and listen, we usually find that those we care for are treasure troves of joyful moments.  This is true regardless of age or physical and mental challenge.  Not only will you boost an elderly person’s day by trying these tips, but you’ll receive amazing moments of laughter, learning and fun for yourself.  Take a moment today to bring out the twinkle in the eye of someone you love.

1)  Do it all yourself.  Most families begin with this choice, especially when care needs are few.  Care becomes more difficult when a parent needs assistance with several daily activities like driving, laundry, housekeeping, cooking, bathing, and paying bills.  Doing all care personally may eventually require nearly 100 percent of your time and effort, or may require that you live with your parents or they live with you.  Burnout and stress are common pitfalls, and older adults who spend most of their time at home often lack age-appropriate socialization and experience loneliness.

2)  Hire help at home.  Sometimes a family friend or neighbor is willing to take the job, or you may find an individual with good recommendations.  There are also caregiving agencies that will supply you with a caregiver, some handle background checks, call-ins, and other issues for you. Hiring in-home care can be one of the most costly and time intensive options.  Socialization for the older adult is often limited to one-on-one interaction with the hired caregiver.

3)  Assisted Living services:  Assisted living residences generally provide an apartment, along with additional services such as meals, housekeeping, laundry, and personal care.  Transportation is usually available, along with activities designed to encourage social interaction.  Assisted living can give a parent and child a level of privacy and peace of mind, while allowing both to maintain some independence. Older adults can regain a feeling of autonomy since they aren’t “at the mercy” of family and friends to meet their needs. Lonely seniors benefit greatly from the peer socialization that naturally occurs in an assisted living environment.  Often, assisted living is significantly more affordable than hired in-home care.

4)  Residential Care Homes/Dementia care.  Residential care homes provide care for 5 to 8 people in a house.  Some dementia care can be done through a residential care home, or an assisted living.  Precautions are taken for residents who wander, including security codes and fenced outside walking areas.  These smaller homes offer limited activity and socialization opportunities.

5)  Nursing Homes.  Nursing homes are medical facilities that provide nursing care around the clock, and most offer rehabilitation services such as physical and occupational therapy.  While nursing homes are covered by Medicare and Medicaid to some extent, private payment at a nursing home is costly.

6)  Sliding scale housing/community services. Area Council on Aging organizations set up senior centers, sometimes providing a noon meal, organized activities, and limited transportation for seniors, often at little to no charge. Sliding scale housing developments provide low-cost rental housing, are age and income restricted.

Choosing the best care option or combination of options takes time, good communication, and plenty of flexibility.  Don’t be daunted by the overwhelming amount of information, but keep persisting until the right solution emerges for you and your family.